Perk Up Your Relationship

Perk Up Your Relationship
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Perk Up Your Relationship

When it comes to relationship advice, you typically learn the ‘don’ts’. ‘Don’t go to bed angry.’ ‘Don’t nag each other.’ ‘Don’t hide anything from each other.’

Perk Up Your Relationship: Dr. Helene Cohen, Psychologist, Plantation, Florida.

Perk Up Your Relationship

To have a happy relationship you need to focus on the ‘Do’s.’ Actively work together to build up a positive vibe in your relationship. Move toward what’s good in a relationship and move away toward what’s bad.

We can learn to minimize negatives within the relationship to maximize the positive or at least find a balance between the two. Being positive helps us shift our perspective and create better relationships.

Next time you find yourself in a difficult situation, find ways to inject humor to help people see greater possibilities. If you and your partner are stuck in a one-note song, try to move toward a more positive outlook through smaller opportunities. Having positive emotions as a couple comes from having fun, gratitude, inspiration, and curiosity.

Work on setting more positive goals for your relationship. Couple who seek to increase the good in their relationship will have a better change at a happy relationship.

The following are some ways to perk up your relationship and become happier together:

1. Be grateful. 

It is important to remember to thank your partner for things they do, but to keep yourselves glued together for the long haul, you need to practice gratitude. Having gratitude for one another allows your to remember the good qualities in your partner. When couples make statements of gratitude they tend to focus on the object. Next time you make a statement of gratitude, focus on the person instead. This will make them feel more valuable.

2. Poke fun at each other. 

When life is busy, it is important to be playful with one another. Many couples lives consist of nothing but work, paying bills, cleaning, and sleep. With all the things we have to worry about, being playful and having fun tends to stay at the bottom of the list. Psychologist have seen that couples who tease each other in the heat of a conflict feel more connected after the argument has ended.

Couples who can tease are able to handle the tough stuff in a relationship. Learn to smile at each other’s quirks. Remember to tease in a playful manner and work on it not coming off as hostile.

3. Capitalize on good news.

It is important for couples to be there for each other during the difficult times, but how you behave during good times might be even more important. Partners should respond enthusiastically to each other’s successes. Seize the opportunity when something good happens to your partner.

4. Use your illusions. 

A lot of couples have problems with putting their partner on a pedestal. However, partners who idealize each other wind up happier. When you are are in a more satisfying relationship, people tend to rate their significant other more positively then they rate themselves.

5. Notice what’s new about your partner.

Finding ways to surprise each other is vital to sustaining excitement in your relationship. In order to be surprised by each other, you must first pay attention.

Once we get comfortable in a relationship we begin to stop really noticing our partners. Start taking the time to actively notice differences.

 

Perk Up Your Relationship

1. Psychology Today

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